Boy, am I glad I live in Westport.

I would hate to live in a town like Greenwich, where they host a Thanksgiving Day football game at their high school, offer no place to park and no police presence to assist drivers, then give $55 tickets to all the cars parked on the street.

And where they tell you you have to show up at town hall on a certain day, just to schedule your appeal for another day.

And where they act like they're being nice when they offer to reduce the ticket from $55 to $25, when in reality what they're really doing is nothing short of extortion.

Talk to me, Greenwich. What's the deal there? Did you guys not get enough love in your childhood? Or maybe you were specifically targeting Westport cars, just to make yourselves feel better, since our football team whooped yours but good?

Whatever. It's over. I hope you enjoy my money. You'll probably use it to build higher fences around your private town beach.

Did I mention I'm really glad I live in Westport?

Tom Greenwald