Is it just me, or have you ever wondered why:
Folks who go to the gym or Y to work out get really upset if they can’t park right next to it?
Westport recently installed a sidewalk on the west side of Veteran’s Green — the stretch of Main Street between Avery Place and Myrtle Avenue — even though there was a perfectly good sidewalk on the other side?
And — speaking of sidewalks — people walk, jog and push strollers on the side of roads, even though there are perfectly good sidewalks right there?
A few years ago, Old Mill neighbors stopped Positano’s from putting a few tables outside, on its patio. But now that the building will be torn down, and replaced by private residence, they want a restaurant back?
Every doctor’s office, business or utility you call has recently changed the menu options on its phone tree?
There are “School Bus Stop Ahead” warning signs all over town? School buses stop every three feet. Every Westport kid has a personalized bus stop, even if he lives across the street from a school.
At night the traffic light at Fresh Market — which closes at 9 p.m. — continues to show red and green, while the one at 24/7 CVS blinks yellow?
Roofers, home remodelers and others advertise their “free estimates”? Has anyone ever charged you for an estimate?
People are willing to wait 20 minutes in their car at the drive-through Starbucks, when they could easily go inside and wait a mere 18 minutes?
The Memorial Day parade has been canceled two years in a row, because of the threat of rain? The holiday honors men and women who gave their lives for our country. Standing out in a teeny bit of bad weather seems like the least we could do in their memory.
The electronic signs at the train station always show that ambiguous, often incorrect and grammatically incorrect message, “Good service”?
No kid has yet been seriously injured by texting while walking?
Gas at the Mobil station across from Playhouse Square costs $1 more per gallon than at the Mobil Self-Serve next to Barnes & Noble?
We have so many different styles of road signs in Westport? Forget the private streets — even the town-owned ones are a jumble of different typefaces, colors and sizes.
So many marketing firms disappeared from town? Back in the ‘80s, we were called — without much exaggeration - the “Marketing Capital of America.”
No one said anything about the demolition of 1 Wilton Road — the former yarn shop at the Post Road West intersection — until it was too late?
No one has ever been towed from a parking lot with a sign warning, “1 Hour Parking. Violators Will Be Towed!”?
Everyone talks about the importance of mass transit in Westport, but hardly anyone rides the commuter buses?
The library and Levitt parking lot entrance have more dips than an amusement park ride? (I know the answer to this one! It’s build on landfill. Which means it will only get worse.)
Grown adults leave their trash on the table at places like Aux Delices and Garelick and Herbs, instead of walking three steps over to a garbage can?
The Westport Astronomical Society only has programs at night? (Just kidding!)
Stew Leonard’s calls itself the “worlds largest dairy store”? What other dairy store sells steak, Chinese food and cashmere sweaters?
And, speaking of Stew’s, why doesn’t it punctuate “worlds largest dairy store” correctly? That could be the world’s largest missing apostrophe.
Why Westport’s two middle schools are located a mile apart — on the same road — while there are none on the west side of town?
How so many truck drivers manage to miss the many warnings about the low railroad bridges on South Compo and Saugatuck Avenue — and manage to blithely get stuck there?
Whenever we talk about our lack of “affordable housing,” no one ever defines exactly what income level and housing prices we’re talking about?
Why no human being has ever been seen going into Patriot Bank (at the other end of Compo Acres Shopping Center from Trader Joe’s), or the other bank (new brick building that looks old) whose name I don’t even know on the opposite side of Compo Road South from Patriot Bank?
After more than 300 years, we still can’t decide whether it’s Green’s Farms or Greens Farms?
Dan Woog is a Westport writer, and his “Woog’s World” appears each Friday. He can be reached at email@example.com. His personal blog is danwoog06880.com.