The Light Touch / The Valentine's Day survey A scientific study based on evidence from the erudite publication "National Exposure" concluded that when it comes to communication, women are ahead of the game. A Valentine's Day survey posed a question to a group of men and women: What do you believe is the key ingredient to a successful relationship? She: "The most important element in a relationship is the willingness to communicate openly at all times, and talk about feelings." A typical couple on an ordinary Sunday. Would you rather watch sports than talk to me? What can I do to make you feel better? He: "On your way up, honey, could you bring me a bag of Cheese Doodles? I'd get it myself, but I'm kind of tired." [...] could you bring me those Cheese Doodles? Two guys sitting around watching late night TV. Guy #2: "That's Lulu La Boo-Boo, the new Hollywood sex symbol." Guy #2: "Why can't I have a meaningful conversation like this with the wife?" A couple is in therapy because the woman claimed her husband was unwilling to share his innermost thoughts. The study determined that men and women need to get to the point and avoid extraneous rhetoric. He: "No, but you're a nice person with good teeth, a cute figure and you make a mean pot roast." The study finally concludes that while keeping the lines of communication open sounds good in theory, it can be risky business, and should be avoided at all costs.

Op-Ed / Out-of-town criticism, piled high on wry Before Westport Weston Nursery School, even before moving permanently to Westport, we would spend our summers at Compo. For many, Westport is the space between our beloved jetties. Every Saturday my dad and I drove up South Compo to the blue deli with the cracked gold sign. Inside were the greatest foods and the most important people in the world. Legends buying hand sliced Norwegian smoked salmon and mistakenly calling it lox. Pounds of fresh golden black Caspian caviar sitting in the same help-yourself refrigerator that held dozens of quarts of freshly squeezed bright orange juice. The Pulitzer Prize winner, Bill Sherman, says to me, You gotta write what you know. No, it's human interest people want. The man seemed puzzled but handed over the money and was about to pick up his bags when Mr. Gold snapped at me, "Help this gentleman with his food." Bridgeport was the manufacturing and shipping hub and Danbury was hat making capital of the world. Before long, Desilu Productions had set up shop and then every painter, writer, and photographer, longing to get away from The City, suddenly had a cottage at The Old Mill. We serve only the best! was printed in two colors on the thick plastic containers that lovingly housed the chopped chicken livers and whitefish salads. In the car my father asked why, if I'd met Hollywood producers and actors and politicians, I would call the owner of a deli, Sir. Westport has more financial advisers than artists. Should I write the clientele has changed and it's impossible to maintain the same level of quality without the same level of volume? [...] screw off back to New York, and leave the complaining about Westport to us.

It's a crash, not an accident, when someone is so impatient to shave 30 seconds off her trip across town that she follows too closely, then plows into the car in front of her when that driver stops suddenly for a squirrel scrambling this way and that. [...] it's a crash, not an accident, when someone knowingly races along at 15, 20 or 25 miles over the speed limit, then hits a patch of ice or leaves or sand or whatever, a patch one should always expect at that time of year. Nearly every day, it seems, local websites show photos of what are euphemistically called "accidents." Thanks to air bags, seat belts and sturdier construction, we're walking away from wrecks that just a few years ago would have killed us. [...] despite all the evidence to the contrary -- the photos in the Westport News and on WestportNow; the tales told by friends and family; even the scenes of carnage we pass by every day (slowing down to stare, then speeding up again as soon as we're gone) -- we do the same thing each time we get behind the wheel. The stretch of the Post Road near Fairfield, from the Lansdowne condominiums all the way to Shake Shack, has gotten the most publicity, but a couple of weeks ago a woman crossing from Playhouse Square to her job at Dattco was struck too. She was the one given a summons, for crossing against the light, but odds are didn't suddenly step into moving traffic. [...] every morning, as I make my way to Staples High School, there's a guy jogging down Long Lots.

The Westport Historical Society's installment "Next Stop Westport" reminded me not only of the role Westport played in 1950s television but in my own initial experience with the town. While house hunting, we entered home after home of real grown-up people. The real estate agent drove us up the long drive of the frozen Long Shore country club. [...] on Compo South, crouched the minuteman statue, erected to commemorate the 1777 attack on British troops, It was Lucy to me, in black and white and shades of grey just as she had been the late night re-runs. Instead of trying to finagle her way into show business as she always had in Manhattan, Lucy, in Westport, directed her efforts into fitting into country life and forging new friendships. [...] when the hatchery said that they could only ship them by the dozen, did I remember Lucy's family room overrun by chicks when I agreed to the increase? [...] in the toddler music classes, all the moms looked so put-together. I imagine my worries had more to do with embracing my adult life than it really did with Lucy's desperate attempts to stay in the good-graces of the townspeople of Westport.

A recent study commissioned by the Natural Resources Defense Council, a leading environmental group, and carried out by the consulting firm Tetra Tech found that one out of three counties across the contiguous U.S. should brace for water shortages by mid-century as a result of human induced climate change. According to Tetra Tech's analysis, parts of Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma and Texas will be hardest hit by warming-related water shortages. Rising sea levels and encroaching ocean water absorbing lower elevation freshwater sources; rising surface temperatures causing faster evaporation of existing reservoirs; and increasing wildfires stripping terrestrial landscapes of their ability to retain water in soils. According to a 2008 study out of the Scripps Institute for Oceanography and published in the journal Science, Western snowpack has been melting earlier than it did in the past thanks to global warming, leading to markedly longer dry periods through the late spring and summer months in states already suffering from extended droughts.

With the current alarming epidemic of obesity in the United States -- starting with children at an early elementary school level -- wouldn't it make sense to increase, not decrease, the number of hours of physical education in our elementary schools so that youngsters can benefit from exercise that free kids up from tension and the pressures of the classroom? Obesity, as we all know, starts in a child's formative years, and the bad habits a youngster establishes when in elementary school often carry over for the rest of their lives, which undoubtedly will be shortened as a result of a variety of diseases caused by obesity. Under the current Westport curriculum, all elementary school students this year take part in twice weekly physical educational classes, ranging from 30 minutes for kindergarten gym sessions to 35 minutes for students in grades one through three and 40 minutes for fourth graders to 45 minutes for fifth graders. Landon's reason for a cutback -- opposed by a number of phys ed teachers who spoke up at a recent Board of Education meeting -- is that cutting gym would allow more uninterrupted hours for teachers to focus on the fundamentals -- math, literacy, social studies and science. For budget cutting purposes, removing two full-time physical education teachers from the staff would save the school district approximately $140,000 next year, according to a front-page article in this newspaper by reporter Paul Schott last Friday. Let's face it, childhood obesity results from what kids eat at home If you're going to go to McDonald's and get a 1,200-calorie, fat-filled double cheeseburger on the weekend or for dinner, you can do all you want in school, it's not going to make any difference. [...] I learned the true meaning of teamwork and how to play by the rules.

[...] Lester Giegerich's most enduring physical mark on Westport is visible on Riverside Avenue. On the left side, headed to Saugatuck -- just after making the turn from the Post Road -- there's an office building. A modernistic, low-slung complex became the home of Marketing Corporation of America -- the biggest such company in the country. [...] on a hillside where root cellars stood for centuries (and Herbie, "the town bum," slept at night), a massive office building appeared. On July 4, 1961 a former Marine shot and killed his father there during a family argument. The new buildings just around the corner reclaim the river for all, and are spurring the arrival of everything from more restaurants to a kayak shop. [...] east, Westport had already seen Stauffer Chemical Corp. take over Nyala Farm. The loss of dairy cows was much lamented, but legal battles ensured that the complex would be built below, or at least into, the existing landscape. The office park on Green's Farms Road; buildings up and down the Post Road, East and West -- all followed the path blazed by Lester Giegerich's building on Riverside Avenue. Nationally, he pioneered a financial device that led to the construction of shopping centers.

A few other people would be there as well, we were told. Since I never have any idea what I'm supposed to be wearing at these gatherings and hate to feel out of place, I asked Carol to ask the host. Why can't they just say what they mean? I think hosts feel they're making you more comfortable when they say "real casual" or "anything goes" -- but you don't feel comfortable when you show up dressed for a Knicks game and everyone else is dressed for a board meeting. Turns out I was the only husband not wearing a sport coat. Khakis or cords, a nice sweater -- maybe a tweed jacket from time to time as a change of pace. [...] lest you think I'm the only person in the world who ponders this kind of thing, I quote from an author friend, Dan Zevin, who wrote the following about his own first day as a college adjunct instructor in this book The Day I Turned Uncool: I'd spent most of the morning adjusting my wardrobe. After a lot of years, and many botched attempts in the early going, I've finally nailed the dress code for Staples High School athletic banquets. (I can also now drive to Continental Manor in my sleep.) Khaki slacks always works, along with a sport coat and a knit polo shirt buttoned to the throat. Almost as dressy as a shirt-and-tie, but not nearly as uncomfortable, the buttoned-up-polo-under-sport-coat look can get you smoothly through a football banquet, a book-signing, or a festive neighborhood Christmas party.

Shifting Gears / Choosing to savor time Artists strive futilely to capture it, but only music exists in cahoots with it. Yet, the primary way we have learned to relate to it is by counting it, breaking it up into parcels and putting it on a clock. Charting one's course by the task at hand rather than the clock on the wall is, essentially, the same approach to life as putting the task aside when evening has come and children, hunger or sleep call. Relishing the cooking of a meal of real food and putting it on the table at 7:30 instead of microwaving it for 6:45, or rushing to catch the 5:48 train rather than enjoying the walk, winding down and getting home later. The way we answer that question, like Robert Frost's road not taken, makes all the difference. Even if we try to opt out of change, refusing growth and adventure, we cannot opt out of decay. Two things seem certain (three, if you include taxes), we must live in relation to time, and it passes -- time and life.

Peter Janulis is a Westport Fire Department lieutenant, a 24-year veteran of the department and a registered nurse. By being prepared at home to ride out the storm, you not only help your family stay safe but also help the first responders assist those who really need their assistance. The Connecticut Department of Emergency Services and Public Protection recommends having a winter-emergency kit, a family communication plan and staying informed. Develop a family emergency communication plan in case family members are separated during a winter storm -- a real possibility when adults are at work and children are at school. Be familiar with the emergency plans at your children's school and your workplace. Know the location of your community's emergency shelters and possible evacuation routes. The site has tips, for you, family, pets, special needs, seniors and businesses and other information. In order for your cell, e-mail, text messages or private home telephone number to receive alerts, each must be registered on your town's Emergency Notification System. If you do not have internet access or would like help in signing up for CodeRed, visit Weston Town Hall where someone will assist you. In the coming months, we plan to discuss generators, fireplace safety, preparedness kits for work and your car and other topics associated with emergency preparedness.