Sexual assault: It happens in Westport, too

The community was rocked last week with the reporting of a sexual assault for which two men have been arrested.

According to the police report, after leaving a Westport bar, the two men invited a woman to a party in Westport. They would drive, and the woman's sister and friend would follow in their cars. Police say the cars somehow got separated. Once alone with the woman, the two men allegedly sexually assaulted their passenger.

It's a scary scene, and one that we don't often see making headlines in Westport. But just because it doesn't make headlines doesn't mean it doesn't happen. According to Kathy Molloy, executive director for The Center for Sexual Assault Crisis Counseling and Education (The Center), incidents like this happen more than we know.

"People don't think it happens [in towns like Westport]," she said, but it does.

According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), one in six women will be assaulted in their lifetime, and one in 33 men will be. So it definitely happens here in Westport.

The circumstances under which these incidents have been brought to the forefront of our minds are tragic. But it also spotlights the places we can go to get help and the support groups available if it happens to us or to someone we know.

Molloy said that first of all, the mentality in dealing with the situation should be to hold the perpetrators responsible, not the victims. Regardless of the circumstances under which the assault occurs, that does not give anyone the right to assault another person.

In most cases, victims blame themselves for what happened, and as a result, they are too ashamed to press charges or to even ask for help. RAINN reports that an estimated 60 percent of sexual assault victims do not report the crime.

This is not right. We need to learn to foster a nurturing community for these victims and let them know that we support their right to fight back and hold the guilty parties responsible for their actions, especially considering that only 6 percent of rapists will ever see any jail time.

The Center has been the main organization supporting sexual assault victims, not just in Westport or Fairfield County but for all of Connecticut. It is based in Stamford, but Molloy reminded people, "We go where the clients are."

Sometimes that means going right to the hospitals to visit the victims. They may not want help at the time, but at least they know how to find it when they're ready.

After all, The Center's mission is: "To provide counseling and support services to victims of sexual violence and to eliminate sexual violence through community-wide education programs."

Incidents like last week's serve as a reminder that we must all educate ourselves on the best ways to deal with these horrible situations. We don't like to think about it, but sexual assault can happen to anyone at any time. "You want to tell guys that, too," Molloy reminds us.

Each year April is recognized as Sexual Assault Awareness Month, but it's something we need to be aware of at all times.

For more information, and a list of its services, visit The Center online at www.thecenter-ct.org. In case immediate help is needed, please keep these hotline phone numbers handy:

Local English: (203) 329-2929

Toll-free English/Spanish: (888) 568-8332