Wish you’d talk more about yourself (Said no one ever)

Treat me to a motel (Said no one ever)

Show me your prison cell (Said no one ever)

Yeah, love is always real on reality TV

I, I don’t need your love and affection

Your undivided attention when we’re together (we’re together)

I, I don’t need to be your one and only, I’m happier when I’m lonely

Don’t want love to last forever

Said no one ever

Those lyrics are from — yes, “Said No One Ever”a very catchy and clever song from Jana Kramer, my latest country fave.

Totally unbidden, I’m going to do Jana a favor, and contribute the next verse:

Yay! Summer’s almost gone (Said no one ever)

Days won’t be so damn long (Said no one ever)

Can put my winter jacket on (Said no one ever)

Hey, everyone can soon start working so hard

Yippee, it’s gonna get cold (Said no one ever)

And I just love getting old (Said no one ever)

It’s cool shoveling snow (Said no one ever)

I can’t wait to start all my Christmas shopping

Seriously, though. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we celebrated Memorial Day with our non-parade? (Hey, rain happens.) And didn’t we just close our beaches to dogs for the summer? I’m also pretty sure I only got my launch permit for my kayak from Parks and Rec like ... last week? Same for getting Alejandra at Starbucks to switch my standard order from a Grande Pike to a Grande Cold Brew with skim. And Ewa at the Gray Goose from steamed chicken dumplings to Gazpacho.

And now here we are, up against the last weekend of summer? Really?

But I’m not going to moan and groan that we apparently got only six days between Memorial Day and Labor Day this year. (Global warming, maybe?) Everyone knows I’m a glass-half-full kind of guy. And if you think about it, there’s a heckuva lot of good stuff waiting just around the corner.

Regular readers of this column know that this is getting to be the time of year I pick up and hit the road for my cross-country-drive-with-dog. Target departure date for LA/XC-5 is Sept. 23. The fall ritual started as an annual road trip to visit our youngest son at school in L.A., but even though he graduated, I’m still going because ... Just because.

And when Kemba the Duck Toller and I return in late October, more good news: He’ll be allowed back on Burying Hill Beach, his favorite stomping ground.

Also: I can start scouting around for some cool new fall clothes.

And the presidential election is just around the corner.

And so is ski season.

And who can forget the joy of driving around town behind those bright yellow school buses that stop on every single corner. God, have I missed that!

All right! Soon we’ll be freezing our _ _ _ _ _ off again.

Said no one ever.

The Home Team” appears the first Friday of every month. You can also keep up with Hank’s adventures on his blog, “Beagle Man,” on the Westport News website, at blog.ctnews.com/beagleman. To reach Hank, email him at DoubleH50@gmail.com.