Califano gives parents The Straight Dope

Citing research accumulated over the past 20 years. Joseph A. Califano Jr. emphasized the important role parents play in keeping their child from abusing alcohol and drugs during a lecture held at Bedford Middle School Monday night.

"You have the power to reduce that risk more than anyone else, so please use it!" he said.

The program, "How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid: The Straight Dope For Parents," is in conjunction with the release last month of his book of the same title. The event was sponsored by the Westport Public Library and the Positive Youth Alliance.

Califano is the founder and chairman of The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University and former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare. Under the auspices of several government posts he held over the last four decades, Califano was the leading spokesperson for the nation's anti-smoking campaign initiated in the 1970's.

Califano pointed out that the Westport speaking engagement was to raise awareness about how parents could help their children to avoid substance abuse issues and become healthier young adults.

"No one is making money on this book," Califano noted. "We purposely published it as a paperback so it would be affordable to everyone. We want you to use and we want to hear from you. I'm delighted you are here and I hope this will help you."

Early in his talk, Califano said that children are most at-risk from the ages of 10 to 21. "This is the danger decade," he told the auditorium filled with members of the community. The risk of having a substance abuse problem is dramatically reduced if the child does not drink or drug until the age of 21, he added.

"How do you do it? How do you keep them drug-free? It's a mom and pop operation," Califano said. "Parents have more power than any other person or peer in their child's life."

Research shows that when those in their 20s were asked why they made a choice in their teens to avoid drinking and drugging, the most frequent response was, "Because my parents would be really, really upset."

Less influenced by whether or not a substance was legal, young people are apparently more concerned about what their parents thought of them.

To that end, Califano urged parents to spend time with their children doing leisure activities. However, he also noted that it's vital to communicate their expectations about acceptable behavior and to establish strong boundaries.

Beginning at a young age, Califano advises parents to talk openly with their children about the dangers of substance abuse. "Stick to the facts," he said. "The facts are scary enough. You don't have to exaggerate and they will know if you are doing that."

Backed up for statistics resulting from CASA's numerous studies and focus groups with young people, Califano described how an adolescent's brain functions differently from a fully developed adult's brain. One of the many facts displayed during the power point presentation revealed, for example, that "kids who drink before the age of 15 are four times likelier to become alcoholic."

A person in the audience asked how to respond when their teen asks about their former drug use. "I feel like I get mixed messages," she said.

"This book does not give any mixed message and I don't want to here tonight either," Califano replied.

Having this personal discussion with one's child is critical, however Califano noted that their questioning of a parent about his or her past has to do with something going on in the child's life. "It's important to talk about them first," he said. "Find out why they are asking this."

Califano encourages parents to respond honestly but to be discreet. "It's not appropriate to tell them every detail," he added.

He also said that the parent should mention the negative consequences which resulted from their past behavior. "Also, let them know that we know much more today about the affects of alcohol and drugs on the adolescent brain than we did years ago," Califano noted.

In addition, since 1992, the average potency of marijuana is 10 times stronger than years ago. Moreover, two-thirds of young people entering rehabilitation treatment centers today have issues pertaining to excessive marijuana usage.

It's widely available, and most teens will be first offered a drink or a drug from their friends. "This is why it is so important to know who your children's friends are," Califano said.

Regarding social activities, he also noted that parents should be present at every party taking place at their residence. "Believe it or not, parents can be a problem," he said.

Parents are under pressure from other parents to let down their guard and loosen restrictions around social gatherings. Califano urges parents to be firm with their children despite what other families may or may not be doing.

A question from an audience member arose about testing your child's urine at home to determine if they are using drugs.

"I wouldn't start there," Califano cautioned. "I think this is something that every parent has to decide for themselves. However, if you are suspicious, it's really important to act immediately. It's very important to watch your children closely and pay attention to those signals (that may indicate substance abuse issues.)"

A running theme prevalent throughout Califano's talk centered around the importance of knowing your child. "You, better than anyone, know how to get through to them," Califano said.

Among some of the tips he offered to parents was to not over-schedule a child's extracurricular activities. He also noted that families who had dinner together regularly also increased the chances of maintaining drug-free children. In addition, studies also showed that teens who feel that religion is important is less apt to use alcohol and drugs.

When asked about keeping alcohol in the home and adults drinking in front of teens, Califano replied that although setting a good example is paramount, adults who drink responsibly will not negatively affect their offspring.

However, he added that children who grow up watching parent rapidly belt down a couple of martinis to relax each night are going to learn that this is an acceptable way to deal with stress.

"Have no illusions -- the only way we're going to get this situation straightened out is through the parents," Califano said.

On Wednesday, Oct. 28, at 7:30 p.m. in the McManus Room at the Westport Public Library, Staples High School Principal John Dodig will lead an open forum on underage drinking and responsibility as part of the library's Community Conversations, sponsored by the Smilow Family. This event is co-sponsored with the Staples High School PTA.